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  hereinstead.com: Alternate Meaning Winners





Alternate Meaning Winners

Dr. L. C. Rosenthal (Elsie to his friends) sent me the following.

The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meaning for various words. These were some of the winners:

1. Coffee (n.) a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight
you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a
flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while
drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks
you up after you've been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor
assumed by a proctologist immediately before he
examines you.

13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his
conversation with Yiddish expressions.

14. Circumvent (n.) the opening in front of boxer
shorts.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) The belief that, when you
die, your soul goes upon the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist









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the electric library of hgl  |  drug prohibition studies  |  pastrami land  |  videos shmideos  |  against monotheism  |  poetry page  |  writingdance  |  lindesmith award speech  |  good-bye Mr. Vonnegut  |  the marijuana arrest epidemic in New York City  |  drug policy  |  alcohol studies  |  here as well  |  regard yourself as a writer  |  n.y. jews and chinese food  |  joe gusfield and cubist sociology  |  ralph nader as suicide bomber  |  hgl at age 12  |  Meet the
Social Justice Libertarians
 |  paul krugman  |  dave barry on roger & elaine  |  friends and family  |  pomo's of noho  |  the war on treyf  |  art gallery  |  Menand on Pinker  |  the funny pages  |  mark twain on james f. cooper  |  the miserable louis althusser  |  automato