Is Troy Duster The Coolest Person We Know?

This swell party is organized to celebrate and bemoan Troy Duster's elevation to the status of Totally BiCoastal. I propose that henceforth he be addressed as "Your BiCoastalness."

Becoming fully bi-coastal is a very cool thing to do. But this should not surprise us because Troy has long been very cool. In fact, some years ago I realized that Troy was absolutely the coolest person I know. I checked this out with Craig Reinarman who agreed that Troy was certainly the coolest person he knows. Craig in turn asked David Wellman who also thought Troy was the coolest.

But, I wondered, would normal people agree with us? This is certainly an empirical and researchable question. Therefore, on the occasion of Troy's elevation to the status of Supreme Bicoastalness, we are launching the: "Is Troy Duster the coolest person we know longitudinal research project."

Now in doing this research some finicky types will want to know what we mean by "cool." What's the operational definition here? You will be pleased to know that we have three definitions of cool for researchers to use: the ethnographic, the historical, and the high school definition.

The ethnographic definition is, of course: "whatever cool means to you, man." I think it's safe to say that at the University of California at Berkeley, and especially among the people in this room, Troy scores very high on that subjective measure of cool.

But let us move on to the objective measures.

The historical definition of cool understands it as a concept developed by jazz musicians. Duke Ellington was ultra cool, and so were Count Basie, Charlie Parker, Billie Holiday, and, perhaps most of all, Miles Davis. In fact, Miles Davis was so cool that he invented a style of jazz called "cool jazz."

Now his BiCoastalness is a serious jazz afficionado who knows all of this. He knows that for jazz musicians cool is disciplined improvisation: cool is the ability to be fully in the moment while maintaining complete control of one's craft. His BiCoastalness knows that for jazz musicians cool combines seriousness about the work, mastery of one's instrument, virtuoso skill, grace, gracefulness, balance, and a relaxed, playful manner that makes it all look easy. Now, I ask you, does that describe Troy Duster or what?

Finally, there is the high school definition of cool. High school is the place, after all, where cool has been studied most closely. How does His Bicoastalness hold up against this most exacting definition of cool?

Well, first of all there is that name - Troy Duster - which, frankly, is the coolest name I've ever heard except perhaps for "Miles Davis." Secondly, Troy is so damned handsome. When Troy was in high school in the 1950s, does anyone doubt that he was regarded as a "dream boat"? Finally, let the record show that Troy graduated first in his high school class, that he was editor-in-chief of the school newspaper, and that he was president of the student body. That's an awesome combination - and on top of that, I remind you, he's a dream boat, and he's got that amazing name. In short, Troy was maximum cool in high school, and he's been that way ever since.

After we complete our research, we will find out whether there are any other contenders at all for the title King of Coolocity. But so far the preliminary research and theoretical work confirm the hypothesis: He's the one.

Most of you gathered here tonight are no doubt sad that his BiCoastalness will be spending less time in the Bay Area, and instead taking up residence in New York City. As everyone knows, life in New York is so hectic and noisy that right-thinking Americans have regarded the place as intolerable since before the Dutch lost control in 1664.

To those of you in Berkeley who are sad and grieving, and to those who are puzzled by the latest move of this coolest cat, and on behalf of all of us in New York City who welcome him, I say to you, in the nasal street vernacular of Brooklyn and the Bronx: "NAH, NAH-NAH, NAH-NAH, NAH!"

Harry G. Levine, December 9, 1998